Work with a partner to see if you can rewrite one of these to
‘Show not Tell’
I felt angry. I threw my book, chuckles my bag across the room and
slam the door.
It was a sunny day. My skin was burning under the sun,
sweat dripping as I was standing there.
It was cold at the beach. The wind is blowing the trees and my hair.
Brainstorm as many different ideas as you can that show that it was cold at the beach.
The cloud is grey, the wind is hard my body is Shaking and my hand become pulper
colour. Putting extra gloves on, putting Scarf on, putting my Jacket on, rubbing my
hands, Blowing on my hands to keep them warm, The wind was strong and the wind
was blowing my hair all around.
Now try to write a paragraph using these ideas that shows it was cold at the beach,
without using the words beach or cold (don't just switch the word cold to another
adjective such as freezing as that is still just telling. - Try to show that you are cold.
Think about how you are feeling/what you are doing/what
you see/hear/feel to help show this. The waves smashed at the shoreline.
I put my jumper and jacket on,
I put my gloves on my hands,
I put a scarf around my neck as I was rubbing my hands together,
I blew onto my hands to get them warm,
The sky was grey and the waves were big and clashing together
the was under the clouds nowhere to be found.
